Romantic Beginning

Here’s an exercise from our old buddy Josip Novakovich, who we haven’t seen in some time.  The idea of this exercise is to play on the romantic cliche to practice foreshadowing.  It’s the scene where the heroine first meets the person she’s supposed to fall in love with.  I thought it would be appropriate with Valentine’s day coming up this week.  Novakovich also said try to add a twist to the cliche, which I attempted, but I honestly think what I did just ended up being another cliche.  I’ll let you all be the judge.

When Rachel saw Lisa for the first time, she understood why she’d never met the right man before.

Rachel was considered frigid and vain—in reality she was too tender hearted to engage in flirtation.  She had no interest in leading some poor guy on when she knew there was no spark between them and there never would be.  She preferred to wait for the “right person,” when her few friends asked why she was so uninterested in romance.  When Rachel had said “right person,” she’d always thought of a man.

But Lisa had that attraction, and Rachel felt the two of them could make that spark.  The spark that no one—man or woman—had promised before.  Rachel knew it had to be real, because it seemed Lisa had felt it, too.  When Rachel saw Lisa, it was as if everything had frozen around them.  Lisa suddenly lost interest in the man flirting with her and looked to Rachel, her expression bewildered but almost curious.  Lisa’s eyes were aqua, and shined so brightly it was almost as if they didn’t belong to a human.  They were the kind of eyes Rachel pictured an angel having.  Lisa’s hair was a bit more terrestrial—it waved strawberry-blonde down the sides of her face and stopped just at her chin.  Her face, her arms, and neck revealed her skin to be pale and soft.  Rachel blushed, picturing Lisa’s skin beneath that dress.  Rachel’s fingers tingled with the anticipation of stroking such peach-like flesh—soft and with a little fuzz.

Rachel could only fantasize for half a moment.  The world started to happen around them again.  Lisa had begun to come towards her, hesitant at first, but then with more conviction.  She weaved in and out between the party guests, the wine in her glass barely rippling as she glided towards Rachel.  Rachel herself felt paralyzed, so that she couldn’t even offer a “hello” when Lisa stopped in front of her.

Lisa gave a veiled smile, and her red lips stayed parted just a moment before she spoke.  “Excuse me, but you seem awfully familiar . . . have we met somewhere before?”

Rachel’s voice spoke of its own accord.  “No.  No, I’m sure I would remember someone like you . . .”


Be sure to check out the startling conclusion next week!



1 thought on “Romantic Beginning

  1. Pingback: Romantic Ending « Hannah Doerge

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